Before I became a father, I didn’t know:

1. Racing on foot (while whooping) at breakneck speeds across an elegantly appointed, spacious lobby of a four star hotel, then turning and racing back to where we started could be one of the most fun parts of a family trip.
2. The excitement inherent in the brains of small children when on a family trip to new and exciting places means mom and dad probably won’t be getting any sleep on said trip.
3. Playing peek-a-boo and squealing when found is hilarious when you’re 11 months old. Especially at midnight.
4. Being an unwilling contestant in a game of peek-a-boo with an eleven month old at midnight makes me hum the dandelion song a little.  (”Momma had a baby….”)
5. Checking to see if we can get a good rate on a room with a divider for our next trip is a good idea.
6. For children under four, the ancillary parts of a family trip are the most important parts of the trip.
7. Unfamiliar parents of other small children are some of the nicest, most helpful people in the world.
8. It’s fun to eavesdrop on other families with small children. Especially at meal time.
9. A dolphin show that doesn’t include dolphins dancing while wearing top hats and swinging walking sticks isn’t really a show. I thought jumping out of the water was enough. I was wrong.
10. Car trips that include zero fuel/food stops and peeing in a bottle to save time will never happen again for me.
11. Car trips that include stopping twice at the same rest area (without ever leaving the parking lot in between stops) for bathroom breaks may happen often for me.
12. Car trips take twice as long as they used to.
13. 8 consecutive hours of Strawberry Shortcake music can cause insanity.