Does this mean that I have the freedom to try some wild ass things with my business, because if they flop and the biz goes in the crapper, I can just get bailed out by nice people like you?

I think I like that.

The current Bush-proposed plan makes me nervous, if for no other reason than George Bush proposed it. The guy who got C’s in college, in charge of the largest financial bailout in world history. And the way he speaks condescendingly about it as if he’s the only one that gets it. Kinda like the pot head landlord I had in college. Dude, you just don’t get it. Drinking bong water is a BOLD move.

I’m only receiving scant bits of information about the bail out, so I think I have a very superficial understanding of what’s going on, why it’s going on, and how the $700B will help. As you might expect, I have a few questions.

Are there estimates or scenarios about what would really happen if we decided to let these companies twist in the wind? I mean real ones, not just shaky finger-pointing at sepia photos of unwashed children wearing tattered clothes during the 1930’s? Maybe that’s what needs to happen - a few million people need to have the finances ruined, lawsuits need to be filed against executives and boards of these companies, their personal assets seized, a few high profile heart attacks, a few executive suicides. Mobs with pitchforks and torches are totally optional. Sphincters across the solvent financial companies clench so hard that nobody with a credit score short of 780 sees a penny and for investment firms to regain lost trust they’re forced to offer contractual assurances that your money is safe, doing so by having some portion of their funds in a zero-risk, interest bearing escrow account. Shareholder meetings are no longer conducted by proxy, and company boards are treated to tomato showers and threats of bodily harm when they can’t keep their companies in the black.

How many of the politicians involved in the vote are directly affected by the failures of these companies? Would they have a reason to want to pass the bail out? Hmm?

And what about the top brass at each company? They should have their testicles placed on a piece of poplar and hammered with a tenderizer, obviously. But what if the bill includes minimal compensation for all executive staff at each failed company, or a zero-golden-parachute clause? Do they all leave, opting for other jobs (oh yes, they’d find other jobs)? Might nobody qualified be interested in filling those positions? (I bet dubya has a few former classmates that’d apply for those jobs.) Then who runs them? A guy who passed the civil service test in 1989?

The alcohol from my drinks is starting to kick in, so I’d better cut this short.

BTW, does Barney Frank have any teeth?

Here’s an interesting link. It’s from Fox News, so take it with a grain of salt, but at least watch the video starting at the 1:23 mark.  (I was trying to find video of Barney Frank, and this was the first thing in Google to pop up - honest.)