Not Great, But I Can Tolerate It
12
August
What would you define as a tolerant person? Someone who doesn’t give the nervous/evil eye to a man with an olive complexion and a turban when he boards your plane? Someone who has a friend or two that are gay? Those seem like the easy ones, right? Tell a gay dude he has a nice ass and you’re probably considered open-minded.
Conversely, if there’s a guy whose cheeks clench in the presence of a gay man, as if some kind of gay rays might penetrate his sphincter and begin the DNA conversion process, he probably isn’t on Santa’s tolerant list (or confident in his manliness, for that matter). Give a Robert De Niro (Meet the Parents) I’m watching you hand motion to a guy who looks like his name might include an Ahmed, and maybe the guy hasn’t jumped into the big melting pot just yet.
But what about the Religious Right? Do you know someone that embraces atheists like wise men but scoffs at someone with an ardent belief in their God? Has cute little nicknames for them like “fundy?”
So you know where I am with all this, I flip-flop between being a Christmas and Easter Catholic and being a Christmas, Easter and a Few Extra Sundays Catholic. I never quote chapters or verses. I’m not sure I know any Chapters or Verses. I tried to read the Bible once and fell asleep trying to get through Genesis. He begat him and he lived for 900 years, then he begat this one and he lived for 700 years…zzzzzzzzzzzz……
But doesn’t it seem the tiniest bit hypocritical for a person to claim to be tolerant when really they only tolerate people with beliefs similar to theirs? One of the definitions Google finds when executing the define: tolerant command is this:
showing respect for the rights or opinions or practices of others
I have to wonder if lately some have been confusing that with
showing respect for the rights or opinions or practices of others to the extent that it’s stylish to do so
And hey, I’m no angel. I’m not sure I could call myself tolerant. Sure, if a prospective client couple is man and man, I may point my ass to them when taking measurements of their place, just to try to sweeten the deal (cue Ferris Bueller’s Oh, Yeah) , but I’m not sure that in all cases with all people I could be considered tolerant. It’s just that I’ve been seeing other people out there raise a shiny flagpole bearing a bright, billowing flag of inclusion, but the bottom appears to be planted into the chests of some unpopular groups of people.
Ok, rant over. Had to get that off my chest.
1. maggie, dammit | August 13th, 2008 at 9:38 am
I think… I think I’m only intolerant of people I perceive as intolerant.
Does that make sense?
And, if it does, then what does it make me?
2. tysdaddy | August 13th, 2008 at 10:54 am
I was once a very on-fire fundamentalist Christian. And was taught to look down my spiritual nose at people who were not Just. Like. Me.
Funny Catholic story:
I worked at a group home for developmentally disabled adults for a time. One of the staff, a Catholic, took a bunch of the folks to mass. When she got back, me and another Christian brother asked her how the service went.
“Oh, it was alright.”
“Did you guys read the Bible or anything?”
“Yeah, he preached on some verse from the book of Egyptians.”
[snicker]
Now, I’m far removed from those days. But I’m not a Bright either. You know, one of the New Atheists who are just as fundamental as the ones they chastise.
I’m planted firmly in the middle . . .
3. Natalie | August 13th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Not having a tolerance for people who are not tolerant is not intolerance in my mind.
Confused yet?
Honestly, I think it’s ok to call myself tolerant and dislike fundamentalist christians who want to take away other people’s rights. If everyone who is considered tolerant *accepted* fundamentalist views, fundamentalists would be even more powerful.
I try not to judge people and I think that is the first step to tolerance, but when people are openly against many freedoms we enjoy, I don’t think disliking them makes me intolerant. I’m still not judging them, I just don’t like their views. Everybody dislikes somebody and if we are basing tolerance on whether we like everybody, then there is not a single human being who is tolerant.
I hope this made sense. I see your point, but I also think you might not understand what an atheist is. An Atheist is not an extremist. Or at least not all of them. They have their own fundamentalists, but most of them are normal people who just don’t believe in a deity. I don’t care for the atheist extremists, fwiw, and would not promote their cause. BTW, I am not an atheist, but you might call me agnostic. (even though I’m technically Catholic and have nothing against that.)
4. Natalie | August 13th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Maggie, I think you and I are tolerant intolerants.
5. Pamela | August 13th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I think I’m a tolerant intolerant, too. The whole looking-down-the-nose thing is just not cool. And it especially grinds my gears when the person doing the nose-looking says they are a Christian. Because the Christ I know about was not all “ooh, quick, judge ‘em and stone ‘em.” He was all let’s eat with the lepers and hookers and tax collectors and love on the people that really need love. I can get behind that sort of theology. Not so much with the nasty judging.
6. Jack | August 13th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
I think I get atheism. I went through what I call a “freak out” period about 10 or 11 years ago when I was desperately in search of meaning. For my life, life in general. I would sit in Barnes and Noble and pluck books from various religions (can you call atheism a religion?), looking for some kind of over-arching answer. I scoured my old physics books, chemistry, calculus. (sounds unrelated, yes? It’s a long, karazy story.)
To me there seem to be two groups of atheists - those that don’t believe in a god, but don’t make any attempt at creating a value system or morality to replace the one provided by religious beliefs (what I would call a lazy atheist), and those who do. I watched a show w/ Penn Jillette discussing his atheism and found it really compelling. Here’s an interesting read: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5015557
7. well read hostess | August 14th, 2008 at 8:39 am
Hmmm….lots to say on this subject, but I’ll keep it simple.
The word “tolerant” seems to connote, “Yeah, I’ll put up with you,” rather than acceptance and respect.
I’m always suspect when people/institutions pronounce their tolerance of a certain group. I readily acknowledge that I’m a complet cynic, but those pronouncements strike me as protesting a bit too much.